Blogging my period: Day 1

Inspired by this post on The Pool about how we don't talk enough about periods (and I assume by 'we' the author means 'society', because personally I bang on about mine a fair bit), I have decided to blog my period this month. And, as an extra added bonus treat (playing fast and loose with the definition of 'treat' there), my PMT too, because I'm having it right now and it's/I'm a bitch. You will get a post each day about how my period is going and how I feel about that. Feel free to start a discussion in the comments, either here or on facebook.

CONTENT WARNING: PERIODS. Obv. There Will Be Blood. And possibly other things that you might not particularly want to read about. In which case, my advice is: don't read it. And if you do read it, and come across something you don't like, don't come crying to me about how you read something you didn't want to read even though I very clearly warned you you would read about if you continued reading.

OK, if you're still with me, welcome to Day 1. It's not actually Day 1 of my cycle, just day 1 of me blogging about it. This is actually Day... I dunno. 26? 27? Something like that. I never have any idea what day I'm due on. I never take a note of the day my period starts, at least not a physical one that I might keep somewhere handy and be able to refer back to 3 weeks later, when I'm wondering when the next one is due and resorting to trying to remember the last time I found myself in a situation that was less than ideal for changing a Mooncup and if I can figure out what the date was.

Anyway, I am due on sometime soon, possibly at the weekend, and everything is annoying. My husband is annoying. I mean, he's always annoying, but for most of the month it's just part of his charm. Most of the time, I accept his inability to answer a question with the actual answer instead of some kind of joke, and his apparent blindness when it comes to bits of food in the sink plug as just part of the trade-off for being married to a good, kind man who makes spectacular cups of tea. But today I want to kill him and feed his body to seagulls (he really hates seagulls. One of them mugged him once, and he's never got over it).

My kids are annoying. They are 4 and 6, so of course they're annoying. But today they're really bloody annoying and I'm wondering if you can divorce your children on the grounds that they won't stop arguing with each other or asking you what your favourite part of Hotel Transylvania 2 was (and your favourite part of that part. And your favourite part of your favourite part of your favourite part. Seriously, child. Shut it.).

My house is annoying. It's too small, and there's too much stuff in it, and nothing matches, and my bloody annoying kids and my bloody annoying husband and my bloody annoying self keep leaving crap all over it and why can't I have a house like those people in the magazines, with re-purposed vintage lightbulbs and shit like that?

The headache I had this morning was annoying. I don't know if it was hormone-related or cheap Chardonnay-related, but it was annoying, and made my drive down the A19, where I got stuck behind a wide load all the way from Sunderland to Billingham even more annoying than it needed to be. The sun was also annoying, being all in my eyes and stuff.

There are probably more things that are annoying, but if I write any more I'll get annoyed with myself for doing too much ranting. Also my husband is due home in approximately 7 minutes, and is apparently bearing chocolate, so I'm just going to go and sit on the doormat like a pining spaniel and wait until it he gets here.