In honour of Saint Patrick's Day, here are 10 things that are almost definitely true about Patricks:
1. "Patrick" is derived from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning "he who is ambivalent about all forms of jazz except free jazz, about which he is fearful".
2. The most famous Patrick is Sir Patrick Stewart. He was granted the title of "Lord High Patrick of Patricks" in 1942.
3. There are 47 female Patricks in the United Kingdom. 44 of them live in a small village just north of Kettering.
4. The very first Patrick was Patrick Thistle, who introduced the game of football to Scotland. In return, the Scots agreed to name a city after him. But they had a few too many pints to celebrate this, and the details all got a bit mixed up somehow.
5. If any more than 7 million Patricks exist at any one time, the universe will reboot itself.
6. Patrick Patricks is the real name of acclaimed singer and actress Rihanna.
7. Saint Patrick is the patron saint of trainee quantity surveyors.
8. Jabba the Hut from Star Wars was originally meant to be called Patrick the Hut, but it was decided that this sounded too menacing.
9. The famous saying "to do a Patrick" refers to the time Patrick Williams-Johnson set fire to every single pair of pants in the Loire Valley in protest at the French government's proposed anti-cabbage legislation of 1973. The phrase has come to mean any act of arson prompted by a love of vegetables.
10. All Patricks are 5 feet 7 inches tall.
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